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Friday, 16 March 2007

Mourinho, Speeding, difference between theoretically and realistically explained - a clever thread

The truth behind the Chelsea manager, Mourinho's weird hand signals

How to get out of speeding

A man is pulled over by a policeman for speeding

The policeman tells the man to wind down his window and show him his licence

''I haven't got one'' says the man

''Well do you have any proof that this is your car?'' asks the policeman

''Nope because I robbed it about 30 minutes ago and I'm on a joyride'' replies the man

The policeman takes a step back, then asks ''Could you step out of the car please sir''

The man shakes his head, looks at the policeman and says ''No; look, I've got a gun in the glove box and a body in the boot, do you really think I'm getting out of this car?''

The policeman turns round and returns to his car and calls for back-up, a few minutes later the sergeant turns up

The sergeant walks over to the car and says to the man ''Can I have a look in your boot and glove box please?''

The man opens the glove box, no gun, he opens the boot, no body...

The sergeant scratches his head, ''Can I see your licence and registration please?''

The man takes out his documentation and shows the sergeant

The sergeant looks at the policeman then back at the driver, ''What it is sir is my partner told me you had no licence, you had stolen this car, were hiding a gun in the glove box and hiding a body in the boot!''

The man replies ''Yeah and I bet the lying c*** said I was speeding aswell''

The difference between theoretically and realistically explained

Son asks dad difference between theoretically and realistically.

Dad says "Thats hard but i have an idea!"

Ask mum if she would fook the milkman for £1m? Mum says "yes"
Dad then says "Ask your sister if she'll fook all night with the pizzaman for £2m?" Sister says "Yes"

Dad says "well there son that's your answer,"

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